How to encourage honest conversations

Have you ever wondered why so many bosses stifle honest conversation in favor of hearing false praise for things you know to be flawed?

Is money lost because nobody dares tell “the boss” that his idea will not work? Does “the grape vine” knows more about the real difficulties than the management team? Any of these could be disastrous!

Dangerous warning signs

• Substantive conversations happen in the hallway rather than at the meeting.
• Healthy debate is seen as career limiting, therefore, doesn’t happen.
• Fear of conflict or lack of trust drives conversation underground.
• There seems to be an underlying policy of 
the ends justify the means.”
• Tyrants and bullies in leadership roles are tolerated (if not encouraged).

Encouraging Honest Conversations

Many leaders get anxious when teams debate or disagree. They worry things will degenerate into conflict, and work will grind to a halt. In reality, stifling honest conversations is the real killer of productivity and commitment.

People follow you because you have a vision. They don’t need you to guide, control, and monitor every action. They need to be able to have honest conversations where team members can voice their opinions constructively.

Here are four leadership practices that help encourage honest conversations:

1. Find meaning.  People yearn to be part of something larger than themselves. You can find together the WHY you do things by looking for both the economic and intrinsic value of what needs to be done.
2. Encourage autonomy. After you’ve done your job painting the picture about where you’re going, and providing a compelling vision on why you’re going there, then get out of the way! Don’t micro-manage! Sure you need to mentor and support, but do the minimum possible. Humans thrive when they can figure things out on their own. To innovate. So let them do it!
3. Host honest conversations. Questions that enhance understanding, evoke innovation, and steer people in the right direction are the same as money in the bank. Developing a good dialogue ensures good ideas get offered and heard. Open discussion and a model of continuous improvement invite commitment and collaboration.
4. Accept mistakes. Innovation thrives when mistakes are accepted as part of the process. Actively seeking out new solutions and continuous improvement is inherently imperfect. So define the level of risk you can accept. Endorse imperfect actions that focus on improvement. Get over the need to be always right and learn from the mistakes that do happen. Recognize that progress is not linear.

Remember. . .

Providing a safe space where honest conversations can happen is a win for everybody. As a leader, you don’t have all the answers. That’s why you need to encourage honest conversations.You will make mistakes, and so will your teams. Being perfectly imperfect is just fine. It’s the human condition. Just keep talking and learning together.