Successful leaders choose their words carefully. Words matter because ideas matter. Many times you can decide what a person is like just by listening to his or her words.
Words are powerful and have the ability to build up or to tear down. Words do cause pain, anger, frustration, low self-esteem, emptiness, and emotional withdrawal. Or they can bring enthusiasm, creativity, success, closeness, and joy. These are just a few of the things words can do. That is why it’s so important to choose your words wisely.
Problem with words
The problem with words is that many times we speak in the heat of the moment and don’t take the time to choose what to say and how to say it. Words can be a problem when they are:
- Deceptive. If you tell lies, even “small” ones, you will lose credibility. Once lost, it’s really hard to recover.
- Angry. Angry words stir up trouble. They can also make you look stupid. Better to wait until you are calm before speaking.
- Inaccurate. When you lack clarity, you bring misunderstanding.
- Cutting. Harsh criticism, sarcasm, condescending words can cut to the quick and ruin people and reputations.
Once you speak, no matter how much you apologize, people remember. We have all see it in the news, in the boardroom, and in organizations. You often hear things like:
"I didn't deliver the message I intended."
"It was an unfortunate choice of words."
"I just wasn't very sensitive in my word choice."
"I was misquoted."
It’s much better to think first and choose the right words, at the right moment, and with the right attitude.
Words that build
Successful leaders understand the power of words and speak words that are constructive and have a positive influence:
- Words of encouragement. Words that build something or someone up. Words that are kind and make people feel good. Boost your people’s confidence and they will be more productive and efficient.
- Words of affirmation. Words that elevate and recognize others will heal and create positive relationships.
- Words that bring direction. You create your reality through your own choice of words. Think what kind of culture you want to encourage in your workplace and use words that will encourage people to bring that reality to life.
Authenticity and words
The other day I was talking about the importance of choosing your words with one of the executives I coach. One of the reasons he hired me was because many people have complained that he is too “harsh” and he is afraid his career could be hurt. Yet, in our conversation he was arguing that he would not be his authentic self if he “sugar coated” his words.
He is not the first to be confuse about authenticity. Authenticity is about being transparent and honest. Not about being obnoxious and rude. No, you don’t have to praise someone’s report if you think it’s not clear and accurate. But you don’t have to diminish, cut, and call her names either. You can choose to honestly say the report will not do. You can also encourage the person to try harder and give her clear instructions on what are your expectations.
Remember. . .
Words are the building blocks of success in business and in life. Take time to decide how you will use the power of your words. Remember that once thrown to the wind, you can’t gather them back. Make sure you use them to build and not to destroy.
Share your thoughts
When is it more difficult for you to choose your words?
What helps you to remember to take time to choose your words?
I would love to know what you think, so please share your thoughts with your fellow readers and myself.
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