Many times we use words without being totally aware of their impact on us. Your vocabulary impacts your attitudes and actions. When it comes to change, words can make a huge difference.
For example, a few days ago I was talking to one of my clients. She was part of the management team and was struggling to get along with the CEO of her company. She complained that she had “tried everything” to improve her relationship with him, but nothing had changed.
When I started questioning her on what exactly had she done, she could not come up with very specific answers. In reality, she was not doing anything different from what she had always done and had not worked.
Have you noticed the kind of attitude you have when you talk about “trying?” I don’t know about you, but whenever I use “trying” I generally start with a sigh, my tone tends to be “victim like” or “resigned.” It’s almost as if I’m saying: “I really can’t do this.” I notice I use it whenever I want to give an excuse for why I didn’t accomplished what I said I wanted.
I’m not a fan of Star Wars, but one of my sons is. Through him I have learned to like and appreciate Yoda. I find him cute and wise. There is a scene in The Empire Strikes Back that perfectly illustrate the need to do more than trying.
Yoda is instructing Luke Skywalker in how to use the Force. He asks Luke to retrieve his disabled spaceship out of a bog where it has sunk, using only his mind.
Luke, of course, thinks this is impossible. Sure, he has been able to move stones around this way. But a spaceship? That’s completely different. Or is it?
Yoda patiently explains that it is only different in his mind. Luke reluctantly agrees to “give it a try.”
Yoda then famously says:“No. Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try."
Become aware of your words!
Do you tend to use words like these?
- I wish to change
- I need to change
- I have to change
- I’ll try to change
None of the above phrases will help you to change. If you are really ready to change, I suggest you:
- Decide either to do or not do. If you really don’t want to commit to change, don’t do it. But don’t fool yourself into thinking that trying to change will take you anywhere. If you decide to do it, then find the best way to accomplish the change.
- Make a 100% commitment to change. Don’t settle for less than total success. If you are totally committed to do the change, you will find the way to win.
- Tell others. Tell people around you that you will change and share how you are going to do it.
Remember. . .
“Try not. Do. Or do not” Change will be easier if you are ready, willing, and prepared to do change. Have you been trying to change instead of changing?If you have found this post helpful, imagine how much more easy it would be to change if you were part of my 2012 “REWIRE your brain for success” coaching program. The program starts in January 18. This program will teach you powerful strategies for making change easier and effective. To find out more about the program, simply click here
Photo by: gogoloopie