The other day I was facilitating a meeting in an organization I work with. They were trying to solve a business problem. Looking from my outsider position, it should have been relatively easy to solve. Yet, they seemed to be stuck.
It had nothing to do with lack of funds. It had nothing to do with lack of talent. It had nothing to do with lack of capacity.
No, the problem was not lack of anything. It was more a problem of too much! Too much ego from too many people!
While observing the dynamics, it occurred to me that almost anywhere I go, the real problem is never “the problem.” Almost invariably the real problem is too much ego.
If you think about it, whether it is two children fighting for the same toy, a couple in which neither partner is willing to give an inch, two executives entrenched in their individual position, or two countries fighting over borders, it’s all the same: EGO.
If people could send their ego on vacation and concentrate on finding the best solution to the problem, they would soon come to find it.
You see, people tend to approach a problem from their individual agenda, feelings, and needs, instead of trying to find what is the best solution. No wonder problem solving is so messy!
What can you do then? How can you get over your ego? Here are a few suggestions:
- Focus on the problem. Start with gaining clarity on what the problem is. Any time that you find yourself thinking in absolutes, of feeling defensive, re-focus on the problem and its solution. Remember, it’s not about you! It’s about finding the best solution.
- Focus on results. Why is it important to solve the issue. What are the desired outcomes. What will be gained by solving the problem.
- Focus on understanding. One of the reasons personal agendas become a problem and “mess up” the problem solving process is for lack of open communication. Share why something is important to you. Ask the viewpoint of others. Open a genuine dialogue.
- Focus on solutions. Make sure you don’t use all the time only talking abut the problem. Get to solutions. Rather than posturing, or holding out for individual positions, encourage everybody to keep looking for the best possible solution.
- Focus on implementation. Problems can fester if there is not a specific implementation plan. Make sure your good efforts are not wasted for lack of implementation.
Remember. . .
It’s not about your ego! It’s about finding the best solution for the issue and implementing it.
Share your thoughts
What has worked for you to remember to let your ego go, and focus on the best solution?
What helps you to resist the temptation to push your agenda without considering the other voices in the room?
I would love to know what you think, so please share your thoughts with your fellow readers and myself.
If you found this information useful, imagine how much more successful you will be, working with me. I still have a few spaces open for executive coaching. To find out more, simply click here.
Photos by: gfpeck and Ed Yourdon