No, I am not implying you learn to eat everything in sight to arrive at a weight of 1,800 pounds, like a rhino. Nor am I saying you should knock down anything or anybody that gets in your way. I’m thinking more of the lessons a lady who has been an inspiration to many left around the theme of developing the thick skin of a rhino. At two inches, rhino's skin is almost like an armor plate.
That's what you need! A mental thick skin to meet the barbs and scratches of life in the spotlight. At the same time, as a leader you need to have the courage to say what you mean and mean what you say. And to do this even when others don’t like it.
A lady with “rhino skin”
We have just celebrated Women's Day. Today I decided to publish again a post from three years ago because it highlights 7 lessons from a woman leader I greatly admire: Eleanor Roosevelt.
Eleanor Roosevelt was very involved in her husband’s politics, and became a strong political figure in her own right. She was capable of taking public positions that generated controversy. This lead her to write: "Every woman in public life needs to develop skin as tough as rhinoceros hide."
Evidently she did develop "a thick skin," since it is said she was the first president's wife to testify before a Congressional committee, the first to hold press conferences, to speak before a national party convention, to write a syndicated column, to be a radio commentator, to earn money as a lecturer.
After Franklin's death, Eleanor remained a powerful figure in national politics and as United States representative to the United Nations. At the UN, she worked eighteen to twenty hours a day, drawing on her political skills to win passage, in December 1948, of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
Lessons from the “thick skin” lady
The next time somebody, or something, tries to “get under your skin” to steal your plans, ruin your day, wreck your peace, and make you bleed, take a clue from Eleanor, the “thick skin” lady:
- Don’t take things personally Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." What others think, feel, say, and do is rarely about you. It is more about them. If you take things too personally, you will suffer needlessly at the hands of those who believe they can feel good only when they make someone else feel bad.
- Force a (convincing) grin This is a great defusing technique both for you and the other person. Recent research shows that you can feel better by smiling. Yes, even a forced smile. It sends the message that you are not going to be provoked into anger. It’s as if you're saying, “I know what you're trying to do, and I won't let you.”
- Stand tall Don’t let the unwarranted criticism of others bring you down. Leaders are easy target for those that like to throw stones. Don’t let their potshots kill your inner confidence and make you feel inferior.
- Do what is right Another quote by Eleanor Roosevelt is: “Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do and damned if you don’t.” What is most important is to follow your deep felt beliefs and values and be true to them. Even if there is pressure from others to act in unethical, or underhanded ways. Your authenticity will give you greater influence.
- Face fear Eleanor Roosevelt also said, "You can gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along. You must do the thing you think you cannot do."
- Be direct A leader needs to be able to clearly present what is meaningful. In the following quote Mrs. Roosevelt was talking about politics, but I think it applies equally well to business: “Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up in our politics and say definite things which mean something, or whether we shall always go on using generalities to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.” Decide to wrap yourself in your thick skin and be the one who brings definite meaning.
- Have faith The life of a leader is not a bed of roses. By exercising hopefulness amidst adversity, Eleanor Roosevelt developed a remarkable faith. She said, "I have won the attention of posterity not because I had new theories about the world, but because [I] never reflected the mood of pessimism and disillusionment. Faith gathers up life, pulls it together, and gives it direction. And so I walk by faith and not by sight." Some times all a leader can do is walk by faith and, by so doing, inspire hope and purpose in their followers.
As a leader many times you have to act at moments where you feel almost paralyzed by fear. Making a tough decisions, or taking a difficult path you are not sure how it’s going to end requires courage. Forging ahead, even when you think you are not capable of going against the current, taking another step is facing your fears and conquering them.
Remember. . .
Next time you start feeling sorry for yourself, remember the rhino. When following your heart, and doing what’s right, you will no longer worry that what you say and do will offend others.
Learn to develop your Rhino Skin. It takes time and practice. It takes focus and dedication. But you can do it!
Do you worry about "what will people think? As a leader, have you learned the lessons Eleanore Roosevelt left us? I can help you sharpen your leadership skills. To find out how, click here to claim a complementary discovery session with me.