How to develop crystal clear vision for change

In the free e-booklet I launched this week, I mentioned one of the reasons change seems so hard is lack of clarity. Today I want to share how you can facilitate change by becoming crystal clear about what you want to change.

Although seeing clearly what you want to change might seem simple, the reality is that our perceptions are influenced by our experiences, context, past and present emotions, and our interpretation of “reality.” Yet, how you see what you want to change factors into your success in changing it.

Here are four keys for gaining clarity.

1. Be specific

You need to be totally clear and specific on what you want to change. It is not enough to say “I want to control my anger.” It is better to say: “I will stop shouting when I’m angry.” The first is to vague and not active enough. The second states a firm decision and a clear behavior.

2. Observe behavior

You need to be very realistic as you observe where you are without finding excuses. See clearly what you need to change specifically in order to learn how to change it. Look for what triggers your actions, what emotions you experience, what connections it has with your past, and similar things.

For example: if you want to control you anger but keep telling yourself: “my wife makes me so angry that I can't help but shout!” it will be very difficult to change. On the other hand, if you are able to see that you start shouting whenever others disagree with you, or that you tend to become irritated quickly when you are tired, or that you become extremely angry if someone uses the same tone your tyrannical father used with you growing up, then it will be easier to decide what specific changes to make.

3. Evaluate

Evaluate what is going to facilitate or hinder change. Question your perceptions:

Are they valid?

Can they be changed?

Which are the critical ones?

Then plan how to increase what helps and decrease what can hold you back.

Keeping with the example of controlling anger, you could think it will be easy to change because:

• your boss warned you that next time you loose control in front of clients, you will be out of a job,
• your child is starting to scream just like you when she is upset,
• you are getting an ulcer,
• you are tired of feeling out of control.

On the other hand, it’s going to be difficult because:

• the busiest season of work is just starting, requiring extra hours on the job, leaving you more tired.
• you fear controlling your anger is going to take too much effort. After all. . . you are “just like your father. . .”
• The only time your daughter obeys is when you scream.

Once you see more clearly the forces for and against, then you can plan how to increase what can help you and eliminate or decrease what hinders.

4. Learn from past success

Find the exceptions when you were able to do what you want to establish as the new norm. Look for times when you did not lose control when you were angry. Look at what you thought and did different. Then learn from it to be able to repeat it more often.

Remember. . .

State clearly and specifically what you want to change. Observe what happens, what triggers your actions, evaluate the benefits and drawbacks for change. Learn from past successes.

I have a free booklet for you, which will explain in more detail how to make change easier. You can download it here for free; no email address or details required, just click the link and save your copy to your computer. You are also welcome to share it with your friends and anybody else you think might benefit from it.

Share your thoughts

What makes it difficult for you to see clearly where you are?

What strategies have helped you gain clarity in the past?

I would love to know what you think, so please share your thoughts with your fellow readers and myself.

Photo by: nasikabatrachus